Happy Valentine's Day!
Valentine's Day is a day filled with love, and we are ALL for it! However, if you are only focused on loving outwardly and never inwardly, we need to refocus ❤️
Self Love
Self Love is defined as love of self, or an appreciation of one's own worth or virtue. How are you showing yourself love and appreciation? So often, we neglect our own views of self through self-criticism or evaluating our worth through our achievements. In order to achieve self love and improved self-esteem, we must first view ourselves using self-compassion!
Dr. Kristin Neff has provided much research and helpful resources addressing the idea of how to show the same compassion we show others, to ourselves.
If it is has been a while since you've considered where you stand with YOU, consider taking the following self assessment! It will help establish a baseline for where you are and help set a goal for where you'd like to be this time next year (if not sooner)! If you are concerned about your findings, please reach out to your therapist for additional support in addressing how you treat you ❤️ Self-Compassion Quiz
Ultimately, love is work! It is work to love others, and it takes work to love and see ourselves! The difference is, we see the meaning, and the benefit of putting the intentionality into other relationships, however we don't always see the value in placing the same intention on ourselves!
But where do I start?
Spending time with yourself is key! Take yourself out and do things you enjoy with others, don't wait for a significant other to do the things that you can do for!
Take care of yourself! Do you have a self-care routine? When is the last time you looked at yourself, outside of brushing your teeth in a rush in the morning? Spend quality time caring for yourself in the same way you care for friends, family and loved ones! Eat breakfast, go to the doctor, take your vitamins, exercise, etc... the list goes on and on!
Try something new, AKA challenge yourself! When is the last time you felt excited to try something new? Perhaps it is an art class or dance you'd like to be better in, sign up! Challenging ourselves helps to reduce stagnation and boredom! It helps us to remain playful and resilient to change, anticipatory stress and adventure. Travel is another way to spark that interest! It doesn't require an expensive trip to travel or try something new! How many local restaurants, parks or shops have you yet to try? Create your list today and set a goal to try one new thing a week!
Mindfulness and Meditation! Spending time with you and engaging in mindfulness and meditation is a great way to assess your thoughts and any bodily sensations associated with stress, anxiety, joy, excitement and relaxation. See some of the options for guided meditation and mindfulness below! Consider trying one each week or at bedtime as a new form of self-care practice.
This is not an exhaustive list! It is only a starting place! Creating a list of things you'd like to do before your next birthday is a great way to challenge yourself! Keep a journal to reflect your changes, thoughts and new adventures along the way. Reflection is so helpful in establishing practice and expressing gratitude.
What about my actual Valentine?
Loving yourself allows for you to love others better! Do you and your valentine know how to love each other best, or are you speaking two different languages? Communication is key to a healthy and prosperous relationship. Take a look at the love language quiz by Gary Chapman and consider reading his book, The Five Love Languages. This resource is helpful for single, couples and children.
We wish you and your family a beautiful Valentine's Day filled with love, compassion, self-care and healthy communication! ❤️